As long as we use our relationships to make us happy, rather than use them to make us grow and expand on fast track, we will keep suffering. All attention here is on self-responsibility and self-accountability! What part of me, do I see playing out in front of me? Judgement! Rejection! Abandonment! What is the fear or cause that triggers the symptoms to show up over and over again just masked in a different situation and context.
Embrace suffering and you transform your relationship with what causes you to suffer, as well as your relationship with suffering itself. (Adyashanti) Become like water if you fight water as Bruce Lee would have said.
The emphasis is on finding what you project outwards or what is being reflected back to you which is a part within you that needs healing. And when we are in the thick of it, it is sometimes very difficult to stay detached and stay in observer mode rather than get personal involved/ to take it personal. As soon as we loose this so important position of power, suffering starts to creep in again. Just because we have made the other one responsible for our happiness, our joy and for our fun and of course when that stays away who's fault only can that be ...
As a coach my invitation is to provide a clear and transparent mirror for you so that you can see through your projections as you speak about your situations at home. From there you can feel your own suffering, your guidance to growth and learning and when you accept, acknowledge and feel all there is within you waiting to be seen, acknowledged and expressed then ... healing has been done and the suffering of the relationship mostly will turn into a deeper level of intimacy, connection and unconditional love for each other. Why wouldn't it be otherwise when we take the burden of our own happiness, joy and fulfilment off the other's shoulder.
Give thanks for the mirror that your partner is constantly presenting you with, even though it may tear you apart. Give thanks - be grateful