• Kai Helmich

Oh man where are my balls? Where is my castle?


Sooner than later one should ask some serious questions when you only hear about cocks and penises. A penis here and a penis there. A cock here and stiff rod there. Bla, bla, bla. But what about the balls? When did we stop in our society, giving our balls the time and place that they deserve?

In my conversations with my coaching customers, I always have to take the focus away from them, away from the best possible scenario, a fully erect and hard phallus and shift the focus more towards the forgotten and unappreciated balls. The penis never seems to be big enough anyway. There is always a comparison and evaluation and usually one always draws the shorter one in one's own comparison and personal evaluation.


It's a different with the balls, there is no fixed guideline against which to measure. This is about something truthful, something lasting, of value and coming from the heart in a very individual way. The masculine aspect and therefore the male genitalia is being used to do something in the world, to achieve something or to get results to be it worth while.


Unfortunately nowadays this call to action mostly is being used to fight with it! However, the old warrior archetype has been mutilated into a modern, ballsless pleaser. He fights for the interests of others. He fights for the mental, emotional and physical satisfaction of his partner. A Don Quixote endeavor to ceaselessly fight against insurmountable windmills for the simple reason to be good enough and worthy of love.


On the other hand, having balls means doing something for yourself. Allowing yourself to be a man. And a man is his castle! His fortress in a battle. And woe to him who, in the battle of the sexes, has placed his seat in another castle and not in his own.


If the autonomy has been lost, then there is nothing left to do but to serve, to contribute with your sword in someone else’s battle, no matter how much sense you may find in doing so. If that wouldn’t be enough, man then becomes burdened with the disgrace, which man often takes personally when these otherwise supposed wars of another have been lost.

There is not much time, patience and strength left, let alone self-confidence to, diplomatically attend and defuse his own areas which threaten to become a problem as they are constantly neglected being further down the priority list.


So often the man of today has unfortunately placed himself within someone else's castle without initially laying his own foundation by doing the real work, on which the actual castle then could be built. To get to know yourself, to work out your true self, to master your body and then to give an individual and holistically healthy, authentic expression to the world; a sound expression that is aligned with one’s body, one’s mind and one’s soul. Just like a proper castle! To feel free in your own walls, to live authentically there, to give love with all of your heart and to know and appreciate yourself well enough to be able to receive the love of another and his/her service.


A prince fights in foreign castles, for the hand of a foreign princess. A king however is faced, to spend his time to grow and improve his kingdom by expressing his might and his power. And if he gets to grow himself some really big balls then he co-rules and shares not only his castle but his might and his power with a worthy queen that will arrive at his castle sooner rather than later.