• Kai Helmich

How to penetrate a woman's "Holy of Holies" in two steps


There has always been a desire coming from within me, that deep isn’t deep enough. I wanted to go further, I truly wanted to touch the person I am with, I wanted to bless my beloved and myself with an extraordinary experience, a moment of true surrender, union and blissful heart connection. For this I was willing to give everything, yes even prepared to die in that very moment. Much I had to learn ...


By now I know that by practicing intimate sexuality one is dying each time in the depths of the element, of the other. Each time you surface again and regain full composure after the ritual, you are somehow not the person anymore that you have been before you started the deep dive. A sense of being humbled by and in awe of the unfolding experiences sets in, softening your being, strengthening and empowering your persona to have the balls to show up again and dive even further, stay down there and in that experience of truly meeting your beloved heart to heart.


Let’s be clear I am not talking about recreational sexual activity here that is mostly being used to follow and satisfy one’s animal instinct and or sexual desire. There is nothing wrong with a bit of that, but remember it's for one's own needs and desires. But here I am talking about the sacred act of union, in body mind and soul. This is a heartfelt and desired ritual of giving yourself fully to another and by giving everything that you have, you receive a thousand fold in return.


Intimate sexuality is a constant growing, ever expanding kind of intuitive and creative sexual interaction where one is constantly challenged or asked to outgrow oneself. Remember the true meaning of intimacy is to state, to reveal and to unravel in front of someone. Hence why it is a ritualistic (creative, sensing, feeling) act of doing. Ie. to give something that so far has been hidden or has been dormant within you. True intimacy always takes balls to do it, as you are constantly letting go of ever more layers of shame and reveal your unique creative spirit at that particular moment.

You will see if you pursue the path of honest and authentic intimacy you will never really experience one moment like the other. It will always be different. Just like a river that you step into. At the next moment the river is a different river than the moment before. Still the same river, still the same place but still different all at the same time. Ever more layers of truth that are wrapped up in an infinite array of creative expressions are coming forth, wanting to be experienced, witnessed, shared and ultimately wanting to be transformed, transcended, dissolved.


The first and maybe most fundamental act is to have a heartfelt intention to connect to the other person’s body, heart and soul. That will set the tone and transform the mundane physical, recreational activity (mind, visual, thinking, doing) into a special ritualistic experience (somatic, body, feeling, sensing, being). I say there is in general always some sort of doing in being, but rarely there is being in doing. The mind likes to have control and finds it easier just to rule from the mind, ignoring the body completely. However the body is well willing to give the mind its fair share. If we are honest the body needs the functioning mind, but somehow the mind thinks it is better off without the body which only gets in the way. It’s like the “Faulty tower” hotel owner who thinks that the hotel would run so much better without its customers. They are just a bloody nuisance!


The 1st step then is truly to get the fire going, giving yourself, receiving the other, expressing yourself, being held by the other, witnessing the expression of the other. All that in ever turning circles. Never losing your connection and awareness for yourself and to the other. Stay in the moment, stay present all the time! That builds trust, stability and a sense of safety that allows the other person to surrender control and let them fall with you into the uncertainty of things to come.

The clearest signal that you can give your partner is that of you expressing yourself fully through authentic sounds, through breath and through movement. It shows that you are fully present, confident, in control of your body and capable of the present situation.

Awesome, here we can get even deeper! But remember on this matter that you always dive to the capabilities of the weakest diver. The weakest diver decides how far down and for how long the dive goes. Without excuse - if you bang together, you hang together. No matter what!


One note on the side. If you are with someone in a sacred ritual then be assured that you do follow ritualistic protocol. For example when the foreplay comes to an end and your desire drives you to take the next step and penetrate her, please do ask her for permission to enter her. Ask her if she is ready to be entered, if she wants to receive you now, take you in now. Is there anything else that she needs right now? … No matter how wet you think she may be or how much she craves you now, please do give her the honor and respect to ask her if you may enter her holy temple now.

There is a feeling of being appreciated, valued and well worthy of, that comes when you are being asked. If you visit someone, you also press the bell or ask if you can come in before stepping into their home. Isn’t it? So the least that we can do if we enter a living temple is to ask equally if we may come in now! She may tell us, not now, but if you take off your shoes then I am happy to welcome you in.


So keep watching out for yourselves and the other and if in case check in with your partner, even demand a quick eye contact if you are in doubt, if they are ok with whatever is going on. They may have become dissociated and lost presence.


If everything is good, then keep expanding your sexual container and fill it with ever more creative energy (authentic expression) to increase the temperature to capacity.


One thing that is too often forgotten is the sexual acceleration power of the auditory system, also called throat chakra. This place has two parts, one active part (masculine= throat) and one receptive part (feminine= ears) It is there, where you are giving voice to the emotions within the heart. The voice of the person penetrates to the heart of the listener, changing his or her state of mind and being. Whisper something in her/ his ears. Say some dirty things to her/him or tell a fantasy story that really turns you personally on. I am sure that if you let your intuition guide you and keep feeling into the response and reactions of your partner, then your partner will also be highly turned on by your authentic and heartfelt expression. Yes, he/ she even may explode by the sudden fulfillment of her auditory needs/ desires to hear through her ears right into her being. The ears are a great arousal organ!

To continue the heart to heart connection, choose positions that keep your chests close together and don’t underestimate the power of keeping eye contact, witnessing each other in real life. Looking and allowing the other to look into your/ her soul. All to give, nothing to hide!


When the initial bursts of desire and heat have been ridden, the container has been heat proved, then the movement becomes more synchronized and rhythmical - not so much friction based anymore. This is the stage where the penis gland and vaginal cervix maneuver and align themselves for “the great kiss” which turns for many to be the “le petite mort” or better known as the little death. The point at which men can easily lose control and orgasm/ ejaculate.


Nearly 8 years ago now, I facilitated a workshop in Ireland that was called “Going home” Nothing is closer to being home for a man, then in that moment of standing in front of the gate that veils your place of birth from a frequency point of view. The woman’s womb! Do allow yourself to feel this frequency - it truly will blow your fuses of excitement, to be back home again. Nearly … but not really!


It is here, where the first step finds its end and where the second part has its beginning. Here the world splits from the material into the energetic realms. Here you are asked to leave your vehicle behind and continue your journey as a Vashra (wand of light/ light saber). Here you are asked to continue only with your feeling or energetic cock, through resonance, frequency and vibration. For many men today it means the end of the road, as they so far have not taken the self-responsibility to re-sensitize their cocks and connect their genitals with their hearts for purposes beyond the physical, high pressure and high friction, porno graphical ego-sex.


Initially you can awaken the cervix through touching it gently and rhythmically with the tip of your penis by moving your hips in a rotating/ grinding rather than through a trusting motion. Your movements become very slow, moving more towards sensing, feeling your way along, as you position yourself and align with your partner. Here you won’t be moving in and out of her vagina anymore rather you you will become still inside of her, listening to her vibration, going into resonance with the frequency of her womb and sensing the energy that is bizzeling like fresh champagne in her vagina. Keep stimulating the area and keep maneuvering around her cervix till you suddenly feel like you have been clamped down, being held now in one spot. That I call the “Love Lock”.

The sensation will be so extremely pleasurable that it will be hard to resist the urge but keep still exhale, and try to relax. Try to withhold the begging force within you to let go and die here and now. Keep exhaling (downregulating), relaxing into the sensation and with every breath visualize your wand of light/ light saber to direct your desire’s fueled heart energy through her cervix and into the holy of holies, into her womb.


Your heart energy that is been send forth through your feeling cock will be received by her and directed back into her heart, as the womb and cervix has a direct meridian, linking them together. From there the circle is complete, as the man receives into the heart and gives through his genitals, whereas the woman receives into her genitals and gives through her heart.


When you do this, I suggest at the sacredness of this ritual, and as a sign of genuine respect and good will to ask her prior your energetic efforts, for permission to send forth your pure loving heart energy into the divine core of her being. Assure her that you come in peace, in truth and that you wish to bring her nothing else than love and pure light.


When the time has come, you will sense when it is complete. But please, do not pull out, whatsoever! Keep resting in stillness, keep feeling yourself and feel into her. Allow your penis to lose his hardness and enjoy still being held by your partner’s grip of you. If you have to move off and out of your partner, please do ask permission to take your body, your penis OUT OF HER body, HER vagina. Very important! Any premature, unexpected or sudden removal of your penis will cause an abandonment situation (trauma) in the cellular memory of her vagina. So please do ask her if you can now disconnect from her and if she agrees, please don’t go immediately out of her physical space either. Stay with her, keep the physical-emotional connection up and cuddle with her, space out a little while whilst holding contact with her, laugh, speak with her etc. so that the energetic container can dissolve itself slowly and naturally.

Imagine you have lifted someone up far into the air. Just because you have now done what you set out to do, you are not just suddenly open your arms and drop the person onto the floor from the full height. You get sure, slowly and gently returning the person, placing them with their feet back onto mother earth. When you have assured yourself that the person stands properly again for themselves, only then you release your securing grip around them. Isn’t it?


This leaves us with where we have started. Doesn’t it say I am the Alpha and the Omega? I am the beginning and the end?! And as we have started our journey with the heartfelt intention to penetrate her Holy of Holies, we have come to end it there with the intention being completed and materialized in a heavenly experience.


Loving Intent must become Content. That is the universal law and our god given right to manifest heaven on earth.


Where two or more come together in my name (name=love) … magic will happen.


Enjoy yourselves and your partner