• Kai Helmich

Closeness (Intimacy) and Distance


We are a product of our past. That is why it is already written in the Bible: “know yourself as thy truth shall set you free”. Just as hell is not a place but a matter centering yourself. Did you know that hell can be translated as “standing beside you” and heaven as “centered in yourself”? And even more, that the universe is there to serve us - yes, to serve us at any time! In the positive we call it “being in the flow”, where everything happens almost by itself. In a negative sense, it is reflected as resistance. It can lead to a complete standstill in which we experience loads of paralyzing suffering, pain, grief and illness that merely asks us in its own way to let go of what one over-identifies with. So it serves us in a way that demands an ever higher price. Until we finally give up our limited awareness, surrender to a higher consciousness and thus return to ourselves. We can only serve the bigger picture if we live our role authentically and truthfully. No one is helped if we accept someone else's truth and try to realize it. If your DNA is that of an apple tree, it will be incredibly difficult for you to produce cherries or pears. True or not?


Even if cherries or pears currently receive a lot more prestige or yield a better price, it should never be worth the consideration for an apple tree to pretend and try to produce cherries or pears. The parable of the vine and the branch tells us about a process that, like Cinderella, could be expressed as “the good in the basket, the bad in the croup”. The vine that does not produce branches is taken away and burned so that those that produce branches produce even more fruit.


And another story from Matthew that calls us, no matter how much talent we are blessed with, to use our talent (s) and not waste them as to bury them in the ground. To express them so that the seeds sown in us sprout and bear fruit a thousandfold:


It is like a man who went on a journey: he called his servants and entrusted them with his property. He gave one five talents of silver money, another two, and another one, each according to his abilities. Then he left. Immediately the servant who had received five talents began to work with them, and he gained five more. Likewise, whoever received two won two more. But the one who had received the one talent went and dug a hole in the earth and hid his master's money. After a long time the Lord returned to hold the servants accountable. Then the one who had received the five talents came and brought five more and said, Lord, you have given me five talents; look, I've gained five more. His master said to him: Very good, you are a good and faithful servant. You have been a faithful administrator on a small scale, I want to give you a great job. Come share in the joy of your Lord!

Then the servant who had received two talents came and said, Lord, you have given me two talents; look, I've gained two more. His master said to him: Very good, you are a good and faithful servant. You have been a faithful administrator on a small scale, I want to give you a great job. Come share in the joy of your Lord!

Finally the servant who had received the one talent came and said: Lord, I knew that you are a strict man; you reap where you have not sown and gather where you have not spread; because i was afraid i hid your money in the ground. Here you have it again. His master answered him: You are a bad and lazy servant! You knew that I harvest where I have not sown and gather where I have not spread. If you had at least put my money in the bank, I would have got it back with interest when I returned. So take the talent away from him and give it to him who has the ten talents! For whoever has it will be given, and he will have an abundance; but whoever does not have what he has will also be taken away from him. Throw the worthless servant out into the utter darkness! There he will howl and grind his teeth.

The question now arises how do you deal with closeness or intimacy and distance?

  1. Do you rather seek closeness to someone else, even if you thereby distance yourself, from yourself.

  2. Do you seek closeness to yourself even if that means that you have to distance yourself from others.

We are all called to seek closeness to ourselves and not to succumb to the urge for closeness, safety and security (co-dependency). The price is so often the painful death of an illusion.

You are what you are and that is good the way it is

because what you are is of enormous value for this world.

You should display your being through your doing,

because you too are a son (child) of God

You shall recognize him (them) by his (their) fruits.


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