• Kai Helmich

Sexual Healing and how you do it in three steps

I remember very vividly that we had to accept and agree at the beginning of our Sexological Bodywork facilitators training that we were all (without exception) sexually wounded and partly here not just to help others to attend and support them to heal their wounding but also as a priority to heal our own wounding and get to know freedom for ourselves.

Freedom as in each time our personal boundary had been overstepped we would then had to build protective systems around us to avoid getting hurt again. Those protective systems would be our beliefs and behaviours and sooner than later would turn into serious limitations, shutting down more and more areas of our lives. And so often it is the area of our human sexuality that is compromised most, seriously contracted or even completely shut down. To reclaim a certain area as a safe area to be in and therefore allowing oneself to authentically take part in it by fully expressing ones own individuality means to get to know freedom!

One amazing thing about the training was that we had to experience all the modalities for ourselves, we were lead through a process of facing our own wounding and then were invited over and over again to embody our own feelings, knowing we had learned all we needed to know and had all the tools and exercises available to us that we needed to have:

  • knowledge of how the body and mind can work together to support increased awareness, release and healing

  • different tools that one can choose to change a position from "stuck" back into "flow"

  • exercises that one can do to regulate and control the force of the emotional release

The wonderful training experiences that helped me personally to grow and also to support many clients with their healing journeys always have 3 steps in common that I would like to share with you.

Three steps that you need to be aware of if you want to heal your sexual wounding:

  1. You can't heal in the same place that you got sick.

So often when we get hurt on a physical level we actually need to work on the emotional level to release the trauma. When we got hurt sexually (cause at the sacral chakra) we are asked to heal our autonomy (symptom of a compromised or shut down throat chakra). This is where the work on communication (boundaries, limitations and consent) is so important.

  1. You can't heal what you won't reveal.

To be seen is the most important part on our healing journey! The emphasis here is on giving oneself the permission to feel unconditional self-love and self-compassion instead of seeking it from others. Drop your facades and face the image in the mirror and from there true healing is possible. As we reveal our true nature in a reality event we get reality reference-points from where we can align again and rebuild ourselves. You are not aware of your own shame till you encounter it in the moment! Reveal yourself and check if shame is holding you imprisoned.

  1. You can't heal what you cannot feel.

Most of the time it is not necessary to regress into a past situation to bring healing into your life but what you need to do to activate it is to allow yourself to feel the emotional charge that is associated with the traumatic event. If you can't feel it you cannot heal it!

One is asked to feel the price that we had to pay at the moments where parts of ourselves had been stolen from us, had been taken away from us or which we had to abandon to endure or survive the situation. The better your capacity to feel emotional states unconditional without judging them as good or bad the the greater is your ability to bring healing to your life.

If you want to heal your sexual wounding then why not join us on the 2/3rd December in Dublin for the Solo Tantra weekend experience.

Solo Tantra 1, Saturday workshop, 2nd December

Solo Tantra 2, Weekend experience, 2+3rd December

All the above points are integrated into a structured empowerment and healing experience where it always comes different than you think. So don't contemplate and try to think too much about what we are going to do because it is not about thinking, it is more about feeling. And when you are feeling then you will be naturally doing, using and expressing the tools and exercises that you will learn. Once you have knowledge and have experienced the healing process you are safe to engage fully with your true being and move forward ... to get to know freedom for yourself.

I can be contacted for more information via e-mail: helmichk@gmail.com