• Kai Helmich

Life is a Donut!

Life is like a donut if you like it or not. Either way you are creating some sort of life experience but what is important to realise is that there are three zones that you can be in. In all three zones you get something! However the more healthier and abundant you become the more you will choose to stay in one zone, maybe rest for a while in another but ... never and I mean NEVER allow yourself to take or let yourself be dragged into the offerings from the third zone. For a healthy and abundant life it is of up-most importance that you are very clear about where the 2nd zone is ending and where this "avoid at any price" third zone is starting. Do note that for different aspects in our life we have different sized zones, so please don't brush all over one edge and treat them the same way. One area in one aspect in your life can certainly be already another zone in another aspect.

I think the perfect and most abundant life is created by applying the 80:20 rule in regards to growth/ expansion and comfort. However anything that includes some time spend in the growth zone WITHOUT tripping into the terror zone is perfectly good and will help you to build momentum on your journey. It means that YOU learned how YOU keep yourself safe in this world! And that is worth a tremendous amount of gold.

Certainly you could say that some experiences of terror would be good reference points to have but I would like to invite you to a new way of looking at the terror zone! The terror zone is an area where more and more resistance builds up as you approach this area/ border and it is to be advised that as one dares to reach out deeper into the growth and expansion opportunities that are on offer, that one has to SLOW DOWN. The wisdom here is to know thyself and realise how far you are already working away from your comfort zone and your capacity and skills of dealing with change and growth which ultimately means uncertainty. Initially certainty is only existent in the comfort zone but after you become more skilled in your growth and expansion efforts certainty will also reach out into the inner areas of the growth zone. Meaning that your comfort zone is growing also.

The speed of how fast you are trying to get there is important. When you sit in a race car and want to be as fast as possible going around the track then it is of no use if you are thrown out of any corner during your attempt before you cross the finishing line. It is so much more use to come in at a slow pace initially and then try again, improving every single time till you become so competitive that your lap times are fast enough for you to be happy with. As it is not about winning rather about, did you enjoy the journey to get here! A life without humbleness is a life that doesn't appreciate the small things and therefore a life without much joy and happiness.

So many people think that strength comes from being able to endure terror and therefore to desensitise oneself so that one would be hard/ strong enough to accept the pain that life throws at us. NO that is not how you create abundance, joy and happiness. You have to act from self-love and protect yourself no matter what the price is of not tripping ONE MORE time into terror, only then you will create beautiful reference points that work for you and that are able to update or even delete old beliefs and behaviour patterns that were more preventing life to happen rather than progressively allowing yourself to take part in life. The key here is open communication, the ability to speak out and ask for what you want and be absolutely clear and transparent in making known where your borders, boundaries and limitations are at any moment of time. When you can fully trust yourself that no matter how much you want to be loved, how much you want to succeed or prove that you are good enough you will fight tooth and nail to stay outside of your terror zone.

If you feel you could need some improvements in the area of understanding consent, the dynamics and how to apply your basic rights of personal boundaries and privacy then a consent session (https://www.kaihelmich.com/wheelofconsent) will help empowering you to stand ground and reclaim your personal power so that you can get back to enjoying the juicy parts of the donut (Growth ZONE or the part where the actuall candy is). Enjoy :-)

Resonate with this article and want to grow again safely then I look forward to your call: helmichk@gmail.com