• Kai Helmich

"Tight arses" or those that have tight arses are likely to grind their teeth or suffer fro

I remember about 12 years ago I went to the dentist and got myself to agree to a gum shield because I was heavily grinding my teeth. The investment in the protection of my teeth set me back about 500 Euros. Only years later when I studied Sexological Bodywork I found another alternative that actually would not just treat the symptom (ie. grinding my teeth) rather deal with the cause of the problem! This healing alternative also promised lots of playfulness, relief of stress, liberation of shame and even the experience of pleasure!

So I went down that road and explored some anal work. Yes you have heard right, to relief stress in your jaws you could try some ANAL work. And I say work, because initially it will feel like work. One has to explore this area very gently and slow - letting go of any kind of goal or expectation. For most of us we also will face much shame around engaging with our anus. Just think of homophobic triggers that would be engaged and have to be confronted to liberate this area!

For some the layers of shame will bring us back to beliefs that we have been instilled with very early on in our lives. At a time where we didn't have any rational, rather were only equipped with emotional traits. "Don't touch this area" you will hear your mum or dad saying as they changed your nappies, "it's dirty, DON'T touch it" and as kids are playful, innocent and curious ones parents may have even become agitated or even angry at you for always interfering and getting your hands dirty. That's just one aspect where we could have taken on a negative belief or even got shamed, just for being a kid, wanting to do what kids do, explore the world through playing! Innocently, playfully and with plenty of curiosity.

As soon as shame is instilled the area becomes part of the "genital hole" a dark area that falls into avoidance and denial, deprived of feelings or sensations. We use secrecy, silence and judgement as the walls that protect that area. With this mechanism of shame we also loose awareness and consciousness around this bodypart, we loose important awareness of how our digestion is doing and therefore also give less priority in our consideration for what we are eating. This lack of awareness opens the path for mindless and continuous eating of cheap carbs, sugars and all sorts of comfort and fast foods. As I integrated my anus back into my awareness I also set myself on a more conscious pathway to more nutritious food, the loosing of excess weight and maintaining better digestive health.

But let me come back to the link of your arse and your jaw. The jaw is located closest to your brain and therefore will receive neurological information first from the brain before it can reach all the other body parts. So when facing a fight, what will you do? Yes, you will clench your jaw, lock your teach etc. ready for fight, flight or freeze. Nowadays the stressors are not anymore the dangerous animals, or the enemy of a neighbouring village rather they are STRESSES that come from our living environment, just plain stress! Trying to make a living, fulfilling expectations, paying the mortgage, juggling the demands of your job, your partner and family with your own needs and desires etc. So when we loose the work-live balance then chronic tension and stress is manifesting in our body. And where does it manifest first - in our jaws! And so above (top of spine) so below (bottom of spine) would a spiritual law say! Of course stress will affect all areas of your body by tensing up, increased shallow breathing, restricting flow of energy and blood circulation, increasing testosterone levels, activating your adrenal glands etc.

So how can you counteract this process of facing too much stress in your life. Mindfulness and meditation comes immediately to mind as they are the most common practices forms of stress relief. But as the late Chester Mainard once said: "if you have only five minutes, the most effective stress relief must be some anal massage". You cannot belief how quickly you will come down and find relaxation and peace for example by taking a shower, inserting a finger (use raw, organic coconut oil as a natural substitute for lube) into your anus and deeply breathing in and out of your belly. Just holding it there is perfectly fine. With each exhale tons of weight will drop of your shoulders and after a few minutes you will be much more grounded, in your body and much relieved from the stress that you hold inside of you.

Remember to never force your finger into your anus rather give it the time that it needs to open up, be ready and feeling safe for penetration. A guide is if it doesn't open up and draws/ sucks your finger in then it may need some more time. In this case just spend some more time massaging your bum cheeks and or just placing your finger onto your rosebud without entering.

The principle of how it works is that your external anal sphincter holds all the tension of your conscious mind. So by teaching it to relax and open up you also invite/ override your mind of letting go off tension, which it will gladly do as soon as it feels safe to do so. We always have the possibility to influence our mind by working with our body. Open your jaw and your body will read that as "ohhhh it is safe", breathe deeply into your belly and it will also read it as "ohhhh it is safe here", relax your anus and you will also give a strong signal to your mind "ohhhh it is safe here too", to relax and surrender. A bonus that you will receive by bringing more relaxation and surrender to your life is the gift of intuition! And as long as the mind is in charge, no intuition from your body will be heard.

Another worth point noting is the Vagus Nerve that is the only reachable point in the human body where you have direct access to the Parasympathetic Nervous System that is responsible for down-regulation. It is known that people who receive an anal massage have fallen asleep or start to drool as their bodies completely go into down-regulation/ relaxation or even shut down (go to sleep).

So if you are having trouble sleeping, are under too much stress from work, or worry too much, feeling anxious or tense why not explore some self anal massage ask your partner to massage you there or book a session with a Sexological Bodyworker. It may ease grinding your teeth, it may allow you to fall asleep easier and sleep deeper, it may even make you more healthy as you bring back awareness to this area. You may even stop being/ having a tight arse and start living life fully at ease, fully relaxed and totally knowing that our world is abundant. No need to be so tight and trying to hold it all together! :-)

Should the above article resonate with you and you would also like to explore deeper states of relaxation and intuition but don't know where to start, why not book a Skype session with me or view some of the recommended videos below as a starting point. All are welcome - You can contact me via e-mail: helmichk@gmail.com

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