• Kai Helmich

Dancing with sexual energy

Sex doesn't just equal pleasure! Sex offers us to engage with an energy force that for most of us creates pleasurable sensations, for others it can cause anxiety, physical and emotional contraction, fear, joy, tears or even laughter. All of it is welcome and is part of a conscious sexual experience, where one is invited to acknowledge, feel, see and express all that which wants to move through, become loose and is to be let go from one's bodily tissue. Did you know, that emotions, old experiences and traumas are stored in bodily tissue. Remember an emotion is energy in motion! Therefore if you trigger an emotion within your body the energy is released and set free in your belly, or other body parts.

As we engage in sexual energy, without doubt something will be stirred up from within that has some kind of emotional content which will increase or decrease our sexual charge (ie. a wave of pleasure can cause sudden sadness or joy to show up). Key is here to breathe and allow oneself to feel all that wants to be felt, expressed and released. But as the charge is overly increasing or even exploding one needs to learn the tools of down-regulation. On the other hand when emotions decrease our sexual charge we can counteract this by up-regulating our system again. The tools for this are:


I always compare our sexual capacity with engines. Imagine you are using a 1 litre engine that is placed right at your genitals and as soon as energy flows into this engine it gets immediately very hot and has to release steam otherwise it will explode under the sheer force of it. Releasing this built up energy into authentic expression is your get out of jail card. If you suppress that energy force you are likely to be forced into a rapid or involuntary ejaculation. So again knowing, learning and improving your tools of sound breath and movement is crucial, just as crucial as a car driver must know how hard to break at any given moment of time, how hard to accelerate each time and which indicators to set according to where you wanna go.

Another important factor is that one needs to know his/her own body! Knowing is sometimes not enough as we also need to stay in our bodies at all times fully:


This means to commit to yourself as the highest priority and feeling anything your body wants you to feel without judging, rejecting and or even abandoning yourself. That alone is a difficult task as it is so easy to focus and give all our attention to our sexual partner in our desire to please the other. How can we feel of what is going on in our body when we have actually left our body? As one learns to stay and feel within his/her own body for longer periods of time whilst being under pressure, then we can also start to:


This scaling is an important part of knowing where you are at, how much up- or down-regulating one needs to do to balance and maintain the perfect pressure of our sexual energy according to our engine size.

Now that we have a reliable (embodied) dial (scale) that we can see how high/ low the pressure is, we can learn to work by pressing our buttons (tools) depending what our engine needs, to keep running and moving us forward to our destination. To our wildest of destinations.

If you would like to improve your ability to dance with sexual energy, know more about the tools of sound, breath and movement, how to improve your embodiment and build your scale for arousal and excitement then book your Skype session with me today. I am looking forward to your call: helmichk@gmail.com